Another Chance
by LadyofDodge
Summary: A missing moment to Return to Dodge....  It had been twelve years since he had seen her, twelve years since he had touched her, held her in his arms.


**Another Chance**

"_You're a danged fool."_ Matt Dillon could hear Doc's long  
ago words as clearly as if the old man were standing beside him on Front  
Street.

"Maybe you're right, Doc," he thought to himself as he looked  
up at the window of the Dodge House. Even from that distance, the  
flickering gaslight clearly illuminated the tears brimming in Kitty  
Russell's beautiful sapphire eyes.

Twelve years had passed since they had been together, twelve  
years since he had touched her, held her in his arms.

With a last glance at the window, the former marshal turned and  
tiredly walked away, toward the south and out of town. His thoughts  
tossed about in his mind as directionless as tumbleweeds across the  
darkened Kansas prairie.

_She said she never wanted to see me again. But she came back  
to Dodge when she heard I'd been stabbed. Yeah, but she said they didn't  
expect me to live. Maybe she came back to see me dead. She's laid  
down the rules, doesn't want to be friends. Maybe I was a fool not to try  
to stop her, but I had no right. I still have no right. Even if she  
will talk to me...what is there to say? It's been too long. There's no  
chance for us anymore. Maybe there never was. But, she did say she'd  
wait...maybe...just maybe_.

Not certain if he felt better or worse about the decision he  
had made, Matt Dillon slowly retraced his steps back to Front Street. As  
he reached the corner, he saw Kitty coming through the front door of the  
Dodge House. He stopped at the edge of the boardwalk and watched  
her. She was still so beautiful, so graceful as she crossed the street.

Kitty saw him and walked quickly toward the corner where he  
still stood, unsure whether to move toward her or not.

"Matt...Matt...I was afraid you had left," she said as she  
approached him.

"I wasn't sure you'd still want...things didn't work...what  
with Mannon turning up. Kitty, I'm sorry...that's not the way it was  
supposed to be," he stammered. "And I'm sorry I wasn't here to  
protect you...one more time," he added in a voice so low he might have been  
talking to himself.

But Kitty heard and looked up--straight into his uncertain  
eyes. "It wasn't your fault, Matt. And it's not important now," she  
responded quietly.

He looked at her closely in the lamplight. "It is to me," he  
answered softly. "Are you all right? Did he hurt you?"

"He felt compelled to knock me around a bit...for old time's  
sake, I suppose, but I'm fine. I'm glad he's dead, Matt, but I hated seeing  
you in danger one more time. I guess some things never get any  
easier."

An unaccustomed awkward silence fell between them for a minute,  
neither certain what to say or do next.

"Kitty..." he began.

"Matt..." she began at the same time. "Go ahead; you first,"  
she smiled.

"Kitty, I was wonderin'...can we go some place to talk?"

"Of course; I was hoping to have a chance to talk with you  
before I leave."

"When are you leaving?"

"I...I'm not sure," she answered. "Come on; Hannah's  
completely remodeled the upstairs of the Long Branch, except for my  
old room. For some reason, she left it just the way it was. I've been  
staying in it while I'm in town. We can talk there."

As they entered the familiar old room, memories came flooding  
back. They stood looking silently at each other for several moments,  
each lost in remembrances too sweet, emotions too raw to be spoken.

Finally and reluctantly breaking the silence, Kitty linked her  
arm through Matt's and led him toward the settee. "Buy you a drink?" she  
asked in what she could only hope was a normal voice.

"Sounds good," he agreed.

Kitty poured two snifters of her favorite Napoleon brandy from  
the bottle on the table. "So...how've you been, Cowboy...aside from the  
last three weeks?" she asked as she handed one of the glasses to Matt  
and sat down beside him on the settee.

"I've been good, Kitty, real good. I fish whenever I want to  
and I trap whenever I need to," he said and stopped.

"That's it; that's all?" she asked incredulously. "Twelve  
years of your life summed up in two sentences?"

"Well, I haven't exactly kept a daily journal just in case I  
ran into you again," he teased.

"As a conversationalist you're still hopeless," she laughed.  
"Let's try this...you said you wanted to talk. What's going on in  
that slightly graying head of yours?"

"God...you are so beautiful," he blurted, startling them both.  
Matt could feel his face turning warm, but figured he might as well  
keep going and get it over with. "Kitty, I...unh...I've made a lot of  
mistakes over the years, but this one was...the...most costly. I  
should have stopped...should have tried to stop you...from leaving. But I  
had no right to ask you to stay, to try to keep you here. Not a day has  
passed that I haven't thought about you. I dream about you, Kitty,  
and I miss you...I've missed you every day...and every night...for twelve  
years," he finished softly.

Kitty reached for his big, work-roughened hand and threaded her  
fingers through his. "I'm not sure it would have made any difference,  
Matt. I was so angry with you I'm not sure I would have stayed if you  
had begged me to."

"Kitty...that's what I wanted to ask you. I've always  
wondered...what did I do that made you so mad? What did I do wrong?"

"Oh, Matt, you didn't do anything wrong! I never intended for  
you to think that! I hated you for doing your job and for getting shot  
again. I was so afraid you were going to get killed and leave me...I  
convinced myself if I left you before that could happen...it, it  
wouldn't hurt as much. And so I went away to forget you, to get you  
out of my system. I wanted to go where I could meet other men, men who  
weren't drovers and sodbusters and buffalo hunters, and I wanted out  
of this damned dusty cow town."

"I wanted the bright lights and excitement of the big city.  
They don't come much bigger and brighter than New Orleans. And the freight  
business my father had started was still there. It was floundering,  
so I thought the challenge of getting it going again would keep me busy  
for a while. As a business woman, I met a lot of men...prominent men,  
rich men, influential men. They were more than willing..."

"Kitty, you don't have to tell me this," Matt interrupted  
softly, "we've never needed explanations."

"This time we do, Matt. I have to tell you, and I want to.  
The men were more than willing to show me those bright lights, and it was  
exciting...for a while. I dated them; I dined with them; I drank  
with them and I danced with them. I tried, I honestly tried to love..."

"Kitty..."

She pressed her fingers against his lips. "Please let me  
finish, Matt. I tried to love another man, other men, but I couldn't. Not  
one man in the entire city of New Orleans could hold a candle to you. Not  
one could wipe you out of my mind. And so when the dining and dancing  
ended, they took me home and left me at the door. And I went upstairs  
to bed alone. There's not been another man since you, Matt."

His penetrating eyes searched hers, and he knew she spoke the  
truth. Still watching her intently, he asked, "If you felt like that,  
why didn't you come back?"

She smiled a sardonic smile. "Pride mostly, and the freight  
business was taking off nicely. So I carved out a comfortable niche  
for myself. John Chapman has become my dearest friend and ready escort  
for any social events I need to attend. He loves me and wants to marry  
me, but he knows that can never happen...and he knows why. I don't have  
to pretend with him. He knows I can never love him as more than a dear,  
sweet friend who was there for me when I needed someone. He doesn't  
pressure me, not only because he's a gentleman, but also because he  
likes and respects you. Thanks to him, I've managed to be somewhat  
content.

Then Newly sent the telegram saying you and been stabbed and  
might not live, and my world started to spin. My head didn't want to  
come here, but nothing on God's earth could have kept my heart away."

"That's it; I've said it all, Matt, except that I'm so very,  
very sorry...sorry for all the years we've lost."

Matt and Kitty gazed into the clear blue depths of each other's  
eyes, apologies silently made and accepted, the long years that had  
separated them melting away in the tender warmth of their smiles.

Surprisingly, Matt was the first to break the silence. "It's  
kind of strange how it seems so right to be in this room...to be here with  
you again after all these years."

"There's a multitude of memories within these four walls,"  
Kitty commented, "most of them good. Oh, we had our moments..."

"Yeah...'member the fight we had cause I had to go to Topeka  
and couldn't take you to the Ford County Sociable...how you kept yanking  
dresses out of your closet and yelling at me that they weren't just  
dresses to you..."

Kitty laughed at the memory, "That was definitely one of our  
all-time worst fights. Remember the time you came up here in the  
middle of the night to get me to help you with that crazy Cara?"

"I still say it was 9:00 in the morning, not exactly the  
middle of the night," he shot back.

"Well in those days, that was the middle of the night to me,"  
she insisted.

Long ago memories continued to bubble from their newly awakened  
senses. Their mood was light and playful and as the teasing banter  
continued, their hands touched; his arm slid across her shoulders;  
she slapped him playfully on the thigh. Neither was aware that the years  
had disappeared and they were becoming young lovers once again.

"And there was the night you fell asleep after dinner and kind  
of thwarted my plans for the evening. I was pretty mad at you that time,  
too. And remember when Doc let you stay up here so I could take care  
of you after Mace Gore tore up Dodge...and you. I loved that...the part  
about taking care of you, I mean."

"We had a lot of wonderful years, Kitty, or at least I did. I  
always thought you enjoyed them, too," Matt remarked thoughtfully.  
Then excitedly, "Hey, think way back...'member the night I asked you to be  
my girl?"

"Of course I remember, Matt; a girl's not likely to forget  
something like that." Kitty's light mood shifted suddenly to serious  
and she looked steadily into Matt's eyes. "I'm not exactly a girl any  
more, but I'm still yours, Cowboy...that is...if you still want me."

Without hesitation, Matt's arm tightened across her shoulders  
and his other arm went around her waist as he pulled her into his chest.  
He pressed a tender kiss on her lips before dropping his face into the  
soft curve of her neck. Drawing a shaky breath, he whispered, "This is  
what I've wanted to do ever since I opened my eyes in Doc's old office,  
but I was...afraid. I was afraid you'd...push me away. Oh, God, I do want  
you, Kitty, like I've never wanted anything before in my life, but are  
you sure? The other day you said..."

"Never mind what I said the other day." Kitty's arms reached  
around his back in an effort to nestle even closer into his embrace.  
"Kiss me, Matt...please...really kiss me."

"With pleasure," he murmured against her lips as he lifted her  
across his lap. He bent his head down to hers and covered her mouth  
with a warm, slow kiss that quickly gave way to the passion each had  
so long been denied. Holding her close, his large, incredibly gentle  
hands moved with tantalizing slowness over the thin fabric covering her  
breasts and stomach. He worked to relax his breathing. "Kitty," he  
began in a voice husky with desire. "Kitty...I've never wanted you  
more than I do right now, but I...I need to ask you again...are you  
positive you want to do this?"

Kitty stood, taking his hand and pulling him up with her.  
Pressing her body tight against his, her hands caressed the hard  
length of his thighs. Sliding her hands to his waistband, she reached inside  
for his shirttail and answered softly, "Matt, I've spent twelve years  
wishing for one more night in your arms. No way am I going to let  
this chance pass me by. Trust me; I've never been more positive of  
anything in my life."

The sweet, soft flush of total satisfaction lingered on Kitty  
Russell's lovely face. Not quite fully awake, she smiled sleepily as  
snippets of her dream returned. Warm lips brushed the top of her bare  
breast where it peeked from beneath the sheets. Now fully aware that  
her "dream" had been very real, she turned and looked straight into  
Matt Dillon's smiling blue eyes.

"Mornin' sweetheart," he whispered as he gathered her close into his embrace. His easy use of that old familiar morning ritual brought loving tears to her eyes.They lay motionless and speechless for several long moments, each basking in the love and  
heady passion they had just shared.

"I...I don't know quite what to say, Matt," Kitty began almost  
shyly.

"Whatever you say, please don't say you're sorry," was Matt's  
quiet plea.

"Unh, unh, not a chance. Believe me, 'sorry' is definitely not  
one of the words I had in mind. Last night was incredible, Matt. You  
were incredible."

He looked at her with that little-boy smile she always found so  
irresistible. "You mean not too bad for an old broken-down former  
marshal?"

"You, Matt...old, broken-down? Never!"

"Well...I couldn't have done it without you, you know," he  
grinned. "You were a real inspiration to me."

They lay quietly, touching, sharing tender kisses, enjoying the  
pure pleasure of being together again. As Kitty's slender hands moved  
over his broad back, she traced the scars of old wounds...bullets,  
knives, an arrow...she knew each one so well, had memorized its  
contours and its significance long ago. Leaning away a bit, her hands  
continued their exploration over his still muscular chest. Here, too, was  
further evidence of his long years as a lawman. Again, her fingers traced  
each scar, but stopped to tenderly concentrate on two in particular. One  
so near his heart, faded and smooth now...the one that had sent her  
away. The other, low on his side, ugly and raw...the one that had brought her  
back.

Tears formed again as she realized how much she loved this  
man...scars and flaws and all...all that this man meant to her and all  
that she had allowed to slip away.

Matt felt the warm tears on his chest. "What's wrong  
sweetheart? Are you all right?"

"No, I'm not all right. This is what I wanted, Matt, and I'm  
not one bit sorry, but what happens now; what's next? Matt, I don't know  
how to leave you again. I'm not even sure I can."

"I've been thinkin' about that, too. I don't want to spend any  
more of my life without you. Come back to the high country with me,  
Kitty."

Her hand, now entwined in his thick curls, stopped in mid-  
caress. "Matt, do you realize what you just said? Are you serious?"

"Kitty, all I realize is that I love you...I've always loved  
you. Even when I was afraid to tell you, that didn't mean you didn't have  
my heart. Kitty, let me tell you something. I told you my life's been  
good the last twelve years, and that's true. But it's been empty,  
too. You're what's been missing. I need you in my life, Kitty...and I want  
you there."

"Oh, Matt, that's the sweetest thing you've ever said," she  
smiled up at him through her tears. "I've always known you loved me, but  
it's still nice to hear it every once in a while."

Matt shifted his position slightly to lay his cheek against  
hers and noticed, thanks to the angle of the late morning sun as it  
hop-scotched across the room, the purple bruise along her jaw. His  
fingers reached out and gently skimmed the swollen skin. "Mannon?" he  
asked softly.

"Yeah, but don't worry about it," she replied as she burrowed  
her face into his hand.

"But I have to worry about it...and a lot of other things.  
Don't you understand, Kitty? It's because of Mannon and others like him  
that I've always tried to keep you a secret, separate part of my life.  
Even now I can't...I can't promise that you'll be safe. There will always  
be men gunnin' for me. And they'll try to use you to get to me. But I  
think you'll be safer in the high country than any place else."

"You're kidding, right? Just what would I do in a cabin in the  
mountains with bears and wolves and coyotes for neighbors?  
Yeah, that sure sounds like my kind of place."

"Well, I'd be there, too, Kitty."

"Matt, I love you; I adore you, but I just don't think the  
high country is the place for me. How far is it to civilization? Do you  
even have indoor plumbing?"

"Well...no, but I'd try to get it up there for you. And it's  
just a two-day ride into Pueblo. There's a general store there now  
and..."

"Of course, Pueblo, the booming metropolis of the Rockies!  
Matt, do you realize how horrible this sounds to me?"

"I'm sorry, Kitty. I'm only trying to figure out a way to be  
with you and to keep you safe."

"I know, and I'm sorry I made fun of your plan, but really,  
Matt! Please stop worrying about my safety and start thinking about  
us...about our happiness. What about New Orleans? You could go back with me."

"And just what would I do in New Orleans…besides stand out  
like a sore thumb, I mean?"

"Well, you could become a riverboat gambler or...you  
could...work for me," she offered tentatively.

"Kitty...Kitty," he began, but his throat tightened and he  
could go no farther.

"I know, Matt; I know. You'd be as miserable in New Orleans as  
I'd be in Colorado," she said with a sob. "It's as if we're not  
supposed to be together."

"I'm beginning to think that, Kitty. When I woke up the other  
day and saw you here, I had thought...had hoped...but...there's no chance  
for..."

Kitty's hand quickly covered his mouth to stop him. "Don't say  
it, Matt! Think! There is a way. Where did we meet? Where have we  
spent most of our lives?"

"What are you saying, Kitty? That you want to live in Dodge?"  
he asked somewhat incredulously. In this 'damned dusty cow town' I  
believe was the way you put it."

She laughed, "I know it sounds crazy, but why not? We still  
have friends here. We were happy here. I can live here if you can,  
Cowboy."

"Well, now, let's see...I still have that property Jake Worth  
gave me. I could build a house and barn, put up some fences, get me a  
couple good breed horses..."

"Matt...Matt, this can work, can't it?

He turned her in his arms so that each could see the love and  
trust reflected in the clear blue depths of the other's eyes.

"It'll work, sweetheart...it'll work just fine," he answered,  
as his mouth covered hers with a kiss that promised just that...and so  
much more.

The afternoon sun was high overhead when Matt and Kitty walked  
out the front door of the Long Branch, heading for Delmonico's.

As they stepped off the boardwalk and into the street, Kitty  
said, "Hmmm...smell that air, Matt."

"Somethin' different?" he asked

Kitty tilted her head up to him and smiled. "Dodge  
City...home," she answered.

(These last lines are paraphrased from "The Badge," 1970)


End file.
